Driste

Moved Again

Just can't seem to get comfortable here at TypePad.
So I've moved again. You can find me at:

http://blogs.ashtangi.net/driste

pain pain pain

OMFG ouch ouch ouch.

Tonight I pan seared some salmon filets then out the pan under the broiler for about 10 minutes.

I pulled the pan out and set it on the stove top to cool while I prepped the plates. Less then two minutes later, I turned around, and grabbed the stainless steel handle of the pan with MY BARE HAND.

It didn't hurt so bad at first.....

I've been icing it for over two hours now. I took some tylenol, and I've smeared my hand with aloe repeatedly. And it's throbbing in pain.

No ashtanga for me for a while.

I'm supposed to meet a friend at their house tomorrow for a 6 a.m. practice. I've left her two messages explaining my probable impending absence..... but she's as bad as I am about answering her cell or checking her messages. Which means she'll probably think I stood her up if I don't go tomorrow.

And it's too late to go over to her house right now to tell her.

Rise Up

I was talking to The Good yesterday about ideals and beliefs. She is extremely passionate in her political views, but realized this weekend that she never takes any action beyond discussion and anger. I would put myself in that category as well. It’s so easy to let ourselves believe that we’re just little people in this great big world, and how much difference can our personal actions make?

My favorite quote was spoken by Gandhi. “Be the change you want to see in the world.” But is that enough?

Something to ponder.

The other night we watched OutFoxed, a documentary about Fox News and Rupert Murdoch. Scary stuff. Very scary stuff. However, should be inspiring to those folks who think, "how much difference can one person make?" Rupert Murdoch is just one person. His skewed, conservative "journalistic" media holdings reach billions of people all over the globe. And his influences with the Fox News network basically gave Bush the 2000 election, which in turn changed the course of American history forever. Not exactly what I would consider to be a good change in any sense of the word, but others would disagree with me.....

Gardening for dummies

And so it begins.

I'm not a complete gardening dummy..... I mean, I have lots of house plants and some outside plants on our patio. I've done some container gardening. I've grown basil, jalapeno peppers, and assorted annuals from seed. I've grown tomatos and bell peppers from baby plants. I know how to repot, how to mulch, how to fertilize.... but I've always just gone by the bare basics of gardening. Now I'm hoping to research, to really learn secrets and tips, to really dig deeper..... pun totally intended.

I stopped by an Estate Sale off of Johnson today and picked up a nice Ficus Benjamina tree for just $3.00! It's very healthy now, but will probably lose much of its foliage in the upcoming days. Ficus trees are big babies and can be incredibly sensitive to any sort of changes: light, heat, movement, or repotting. I may have to repot it as I think it's a bit root bound, but hopefully I can give it some time to adjust to its new home first so it doesn't shrivel up and die on me.

I took a trip to Pacific Home and Garden store. Those of you SLO folks out there, they're having a house plant sale: $4.99 for 6" house plants, $19.99 for 10". So I bought a few of those. Tomorrow I'll be repotting them all.

When I repot, I'm always scrambling around for rocks or terracotta shards to cover the drainage hole in my pots. But here's a genius idea I stole from My New Favorite Site: Use coffee filters! What a grand idea! Or use styrofoam packing peanuts!

Today I also bought my rubbermaid bin for my homemade composting bin. And I got a bunch of bulbs and tubers: Ranunculus, Anemone, and Watsonia Pyramidata. I'm a little nervous since I've never planted bulbs before and they were a bit pricey.  And since I don't have a "garden" (yet) I have to use containers, and I'm not sure how well the bulbs will do in containers.

I browsed longingly through all the seed packets, but I still have a lot of planning and research to do before I decide what to buy and what I should grow. Plus, I'm pretty far from optimal germination time for most vegetables.

Tomorrow's agenda: Repotting house plants, gathering browns and greens for the compost bin, and readying my homemade compost bin.

Strength and Grace

Yesterday at The Yoga Centre, I went to open studio. There were just three of us, all practicing primary series. I practiced next to a friend who has been a dancer for years. I've practiced with her a few times in the past, but never right next to her.

I couldn't help but notice the grace and lightness she brought to each pose. I was focused on my own practice and my own driste, but I could see her in my peripheral vision, softening into each asana.  After practice, I began to reflect on my own grace. Or lack thereof.

When I practice in a classroom setting or in a public setting, 9 times out of 10 someone will comment to me afterwards that I have a "strong" practice. But I rarely am complimented on the beauty of my practice. (Not that I look for these compliments or need the approval.... it's just something I've noticed.) I've always been a strong girl. I get comments from time to time on my biceps or my calves or my back. It's just the way I'm built. With this strenth, I muscle myself through vinyasas and into poses. And it's very seldom that I feel a lightness or a softening in any pose. I don't have the bendiest of bodies. I have tight hips and tight psoas muscles. But should I be using my strength to compensate for this lack of flexibility? And example would be Upavishta Konasana. While on the ground, I'm pulling my sternum towards the floor with my hands. I am very careful to keep my hips grounded, but there really isn't much surrender or softening in this pose.

Maybe the grace is something that comes naturally over time. Or maybe I'll always be the strong one.

Old Friend

A month or so back, after having Sushi with some friends, we prolonged the evening by heading to Grappolo's downstairs lounge/bar for a cocktail. As I walked down the stairs, I noticed this blonde girl just staring at me, and I thought to myself, "well that's rude."  So I thought I'd be equally rude and walk right up to her.  She asked me if my name was Jenna, I said yes, and -VOILA- instant reacquaintance with an old volleyball friend from Santa Cruz years and years ago.

It was random on many many levels..... She had never been to San Luis Obispo before, was camping in Morro Bay, thought she was headed back to Santa Cruz but friends had other plans for her. I hardly ever go out, but I hadn't driven so was also at the mercy of my friends.  She still lives in Santa Cruz, works in pharmaceutical sales and the Central Coast is part of her sales region. So she comes into the area about once a month. Lucky ME!!! I have a new friend!

It may seem strange that I'm so excited to have..... A FRIEND!!! And it's not like I'm some freak who has no friends. I have plenty of friends. I have plenty of long distance phone numbers and emails and places to stay if I want to go off to a big city somewhere. But no one stays in San Luis Obispo. I've spent the past 4 years of my life saying goodbye to college friends as they move off to some far flung destination. It's not that they want to leave. Some towns are the kind that you can't wait to leave. San Luis Obispo is not one of those, but there are no JOBS. There's no INDUSTRY. And the cost of living is extremely HIGH here, due to all the rich retirees relocating from the Silicon Valley to quiet, picturesque San Luis Obispo. Bastards. So when I have a friend who lives in or visits San Luis Obispo and I don't have to email and I don't have to call and I can actually converse while sharing a bottle of sake and some sushi with this person, I'm THRILLED.

So we conversed while sharing sake and sushi last night, and it was so fun catching up with her. Can't wait til she comes into town again. Quite a wait at the restaurant last night. Wednesday night is THE night for Tsurugi's. By the time we left, it was after 10. So late morning practice this a.m. at Open Studio at The Yoga Centre.

Trying TypePad

My New Home! Well, we'll see how it goes.....

I think it may take a bit to learn how to take full advantage of all the additional features typePad has to offer, but I do think it offers much more than my previous Blogger home.

sprouting ambitions

                                  photo from http://www.yougrowgirl.com

I am inspired by this site to dip my green toe into the soils of gardening once more. I love digging my hands in dirt and potting soil, and watching my plants flourish, but lately I've been watching them droop as my dedication and enthusiasm for them as wilted. So I will start planning my vegetable container garden over the next few months. Why containers, you ask? I still throw my money away every month (I rent). If I have to up and move (which I haven't had to do for 4 years.... knock on wood), I want to take my beloved plants with me. Besides, this time next year I should have my own brand-spankin-new house (Knock on wood!!!!!) and will want to bring my leafy green friends with me to scorching hot Paso Robles.

I'll be recruiting my hubby to help me build several portable beds for the backyard. He doesn't know this yet. And in the meantime, I'm saving up for a compost bin, selecting my seeds, and reading up on gardening.

On my garden wish list:

This, or this (isn't it cute?), or this for lazy composting*
This, for germinating seeds in the garage. That is, if Tay will sacrifice a little corner of his workbench.
This, for sporting while I toil in the soil.

All that, some wood for the beds, some sand, mulch, potting soil, newspaper, and I should be good to go.

So this is now my gardening blog as well. I may have to move to Typepad or Movable Type so I could categorize all my entries for archiving and ease of use. Just think.... my categories would be as follows:

My Stomach Hurts
My Knee Hurts
I Think I Might Be Preg-o
I Heart Ashtanga
I Heart Wine
I Heart Sushi
I Heart Liberals

Can you think of any others?

*If I choose to save a few bucks, I will be using this article to make my own little compost bin. Come to think of it, maybe I'll get moving on that this weekend....

sleep fighting

Terrible Horrible No Good Really Bad dreams last night. Perhaps due to the abnormally large burrito I nibbled on last night at the Taco Temple. And I say nibble because, although I did my best to eat like the true champ that I am, my best was not good enough for this monster. Upon receiving the plate from my lovely tattoed waitress, I mumbled "holy shit, it's bigger than my head," while I pushed the basket of chips far far away (too late, I'm afraid). She said, "we aim to please."

About 30 minutes later, I put down my fork, unable to fathom taking another bite.
Tay: You barely made a dent!
Me: But I ate so much! It was just so big!
Tay: It was bigger than your head!
Me: That's what I said!
Tay: You did? When?

Yes, that's right. We both compare food items to body parts. This was one of those moments when I realize we're truly MFOE.*

Then our waitress had the gall to offer the dessert menu. To which we loudly replied in unison, "NO."

After dinner we enjoyed a lovely sunset on the beach, a truly rare sight to see in Morro Bay in September as our coast is normally blanketed by fog in summer.

And then. Much later. The dreams.

Running for my life from war, from guns, from bombs. Fighting back with grenades, with guns, with every fiber in my being. Trying to protect my loved ones, trying to keep everyone together, but losing people one by one. Waking up trembling, I tried to shake it off, tried to think about meadows or Kula or flowers or jogging in the redwoods..... all the visions that usually bring me peace and joy. Fell back to sleep and back into the dreams right where I left off. When I woke up a second time, I got up and took a little walk around the house, massaged some lavendar essential oil into my temples and below my nose, hoping the scent would change my subconscious paths. No such luck. By the time my alarm went off at 5, I felt physically heavy and exhausted from fighting all night.

The fear from the dream crept into my practice, causing self doubt and self deprication throughout each pose. Mentally, it truly was my worst self practice to date.

And then, after showering.....

Tay: I thought you were getting up for yoga this morning.
Me: I did.
Tay: No way! You just let kula out and got right back into bed!
Me: Nooooo.... I came back to bed after an hour and a half of yoga.
Tay: I don't believe you.

So did I dream it all? No, of course not. Tay's just delusional at 5 a.m. Can't say that I blame him. And he made me smile. For the first time that morning.

*For those of you who haven't seen Sleepless in Seattle thousands of times (yes, I have. And yes, I know I'm a loser), this means Meant For Each Other.

NERVES

I'm pulling out my hair this morning, reciting sanskrit, reciting the opening prayer and the mangala mantra for closing, quizzing myself on series placement:

"UPAVISHTA KONASANA! After Baddha Konasana, before Supta Konasana!"

"SETU BANDHASANA! After Urdhvha Muka Paschimottanasana, before Urdva Dhanurasana!"

And so on. On my own, I know the series down pat. But in front of 15 people, leading the series, I'm scared I'll falter. Skip poses. Forget asana names. Get caught bumbling verbal cues.

Today's my first day.

In our previous studio, before it closed, the class basically consisted of the same group of people, week after week. New faces would come trickling in one by one, but for the most part, everyone was comfortable with the series and nothing was too new. Last week, our first week in the new location with rotating "instructors", there were 5 or 6 new faces who had never tried ashtanga. We hadn't even realized that the studio owner had listed the class on the schedule.

I hope there's no newbies today.